For Love's Sake

Philemon 8-9: "Therefore, though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do what is proper, yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you - since I am such a person as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus."

Forgiveness and acceptance (reconciliation) is the paramount theme of this letter. I think that verses 8-9 depict an applicable means in dealing with conflict. Paul being an apostle and elder does not use his authority in demanding change, though he would be correct and just in doing so. Rather, he uses love - which is the commitment both of them share in Christ. The plea seems non-confrontational. It is not forceful, nor does it seem intrusive. The legal definition of appeal is to demand change using a higher court and in a sense the 'higher' stance in this application is love, which focuses on our commitment and understanding of Christ. I wonder how much conflict can be resolved and avoided if we practiced such a perspective in our relationships with others.

Re: silly prayers

have often pondered about the 'correct' way to pray and also have been challenged at times during prayer. There are times when I evaluate my own prayers (as well as others) and have felt that they were, well, petty. I think sometimes it is easy to deem long and emotional prayers as substance and powerful and shorter, 'all about me' prayers as almost missing the point. However, I think that both are accepted by our Lord. I think prayer is a reflection of what is going on inside each of us (David in the Psalms) and that it is alright to kick and scream about our afflictions to our Holy God. On the other hand, Paul's intercessory prayers also provide an example of 'what he did not pray for.' Paul was adamant of believers to grow in knowledge and wisdom and I think behind some of the 'petty' prayers that I and others have said, we desire the same thing. I believe that the Holy Spirit listens and knows where each of our understandings are of Him and is willing to meet us at that point and draw us to His Will; however long, short, silly, inept our prayers may be. I think as we continue to grow in Christ, our prayers will begin to reflect not only our personal matters, but community, actions, forgiveness and ultimately praise for everything in between.

A tired man

Alright, I am pretty tired. I am sitting in my Monday night course "Treatment and Counseling for Addictive Personalities" or something of the likes. It has been pretty relentless this semester as it has been Monday/Tuesdays 5-10pm for 12 weeks. I also had a pretty exhaustive weekend bike riding around the bay area for our P.I. Missions fundraiser. A total of 204 miles in two days. I will be able to get through as the Lord always helps me, but I have got to say, I am weary, tired and weak. I have 3 weeks of work before I get a break (with plenty of paper work and at times struggling with the Tx program itself) and about 6 weeks of school (with plenty of writing and oral examinations on the 12 core functions).

My prayer: Lord, help me to endure what is ahead and to remain hopeful of what I am learning. I ask for your guidance and support, opening my heart and mind to what you would have for me. I ask for rest when available and accept the things mentioned as blessings. In your name.....

Happy 3rd Birthday Isaiah!

Today is my son's 3rd birthday. As I am typing this there are plenty of things that need to be finished before his party begins. There is also a heavy storm that is suppose to hit the bay area at about noon or so and hopefully our guests arrive safely. Isaiah is pretty excited as he paces around the house --from mom who is putting together activity bags for the party to his Thomas the train dvd in the other rooms -- to chasing his big sister Jaelyn everywhere she goes. He is definitely excited! I have to say that we are excited as well, although it does take a lot of work and planning to get these things going and this previous week has been pretty tough on our family as we all had symptoms of the stomach flu. Well, back to preparation I go....

Counseling from a patient perspective

Today was the first time I have called my health care provider to schedule an appointment with a licensed psychotherapist. One would think that this would not be such a big deal, since I have worked in the mental health field for almost 6 years -- and am in a graduate program that concerns this field. Nonetheless, I was anxious during the call as the person from the clinic assessed and evaluated my answers to a questionnaire. I suppose my anxious symptoms may be derived from some sort of 'projective identification' issues, in which I perceived the stigmatization of what some patients or clients may be feeling about themselves when seeking 'professional psychiatric help.' Or perhaps it is the actual reversal of that thought and really think that those who seek help are nutty and I did not want to accept this.

After reflecting in a more calm state (I made the phone call in my freezing car to stay out of the rain) I was able to realize that stepping out and trusting someone to look into some areas of life that were/are difficult takes a lot of courage. Sometimes we feel that no one can understand our issues or that we can do it on our own. It is a HUGE step to open up and it takes humility and some sense of hope to take that little step towards freedom. Sometimes the freedom takes the work of two or more people -- but nonetheless it requires more than just one's self to grow wholly.

We'll see how this first appointment turns out........

Here we go...

First post of the blogger! Hopefully not the last!